raine's pop journal

it's a nice gloomy day today...i still like coming to LJ to empty out all my random thoughts...so yeah...main project now is BOOK...oh dear, i'm not like how i was 5 years ago, when I was so optimistic and confident about myself and the world...now, am plagued with lots of negative thoughts....so...anyway am going forward whatever the case...no money how???


have been watching chuno, a drama that was aired a year ago and am convinced it's the BEST K-DRAMA EVER!! I don't even have a fave K-drama...they usually don't provoke your thinking as much as J-dramas...or are quite as creative....i think Koreans are better at variety shows...that's where all their creative stuff are...but yeah Chuno is awesome and inspiring! Anyway...Singapore...what do we have....

Another thing on my mind is general elections! Whatever the outcome, it's good to see so much passion on our streets.

lalalalalalala

wanted to sleep but couldnt...too many thoughts swimming in my mind....
sigh...
It's time for battle mode tho...
God help me!!!

since I am waiting for my download to finish (17 more minutes), I shall write a journal entry in my semi-abandoned LJ~~~ I feel like time has been moving rather slowly these days....am going to be shooting this guy friend of mine later. I hope to make him into a ulzzang (best face?)...I kinda like him but he's 10 years younger than me...omg...and no matter how I look at it, 10 years is too big a gap!! Maybe 5 years is the max I will accept??!!!

Anyway, shall be professional and just take pretty photos, so that I can hone my skills of taking pretty boys and eventually be a sort after photographer by Johnnys, SM Entertainment, and all those pretty actors!!

ANd I'm acting in this indie short film next week...i'm a little conflicted as to how to play the character.....hmm, need to dwell....I love how LJ gives me as much space as I need, unlike that damn twitter!!!

I am abit confused at the stats at my blogspot...
But anyway, after SS3 SG, there has been more or less a steady flow of visitors...but...I don't have anything to update...sooooo....they may abandon me eventually
Maybe April, we'll see more kpop stars....
ANyway, I should sleep but heart feels a little unsettled...
Tomorrow is busy with wedding stuff (not my own, duh)
I have two articles and a Mandarin interview on tue...arck...need to prepare....
There's a wedding this weekend...
It's the last weekend at Expo for my church...then we are moving...I will miss the old venue because it's so near my house!!!
There's bridesmaid stuff to think about...
oh well.....and then Feb will be gone like that...omona....

So many mixed feelings....
Withdrawal symptoms...miss them like crazy...
Wonder if the star I'm chasing is just moving further and further away from me....
Wonder if this dream I'm dreaming will never come true...and what happens if it doesn't...will I just die from heart break....

this is really the only place in which I can rant properly...I can't believe I had this space since 2004....

ANyway today was rather shit because 1. my two payments are not mailed to me yet 2. Mom is throwing a fit at why these payments are not in yet and questions what am I doing in life 3. I get pissed at why these payments are so freaking late and i question what am I doing with my life. Of course once everything is in...I will be rolling around in money (not exactly but pretty comfortably)...and then I can see my Super Junior in Singapore and everything will be peachy...but of course there is that nagging question about what am I doing with my life....

Things like the arts grant and the children book competition, can only be known in mid year...so what am I supposed to be doing in the meantime??? And they are also such a big gamble, maybe I shouldn't put all my eggs in one basket? But then I do have part time freelance work....sigh sigh...and I am getting old....big sigh....I just want to be a novelist...and be able to live off my novels....is that so hard???? I do believe my writing has improved over the years...gripe gripe gripe....but at this point, there isnt much else to do but to believe i'll reach there eventually.

There seems to be nothing to do but wait now....

Am working on my arts grant....it's quite a headache...but I don't see any reason why they won't give me the money....however, such things are uncertain. In Bakuman, the character says that being a mangaka is a gamble...I feel the same way about being a writer too.

I mean stuff like magazine and corporate writing, is not much of a gamble...helps to pay the bills, meet people. But things like writing a novel...being a novelist, it's a gamble, in which few people are able to make a living off...but i still want to try.

So decided to update out of the blue.
Got back from Seoul, saw snow for the first time, met up with Korean friends and from around Asia. So am back and working on my contest submission for a Children Book competition. MUST WIN!! Here are just two pics~

( with me wig )

Hihi~~ Havn't been posting here much! Awww....

Anyway I still lurk around LJ mainly due to omona, so shall just update a little about my life.

Hmmmmm.....got a few mag projects. Fashion magazine, lifestyle online mag, and the usual teeeeeny mag which gives me the least money but the most perks? LOL. The year is ending...I am learning Korean like crazy so that I can function properly on the BIG EVENT....but am still not really good at it. My convo skills are also....meeeh....

As usual, as always stuck by inertia, which lowers my productivity rate. I should have finished my cover story by now, but only have the skeleton....bad girl....

But I will finish everything by tomorrow...I am even giving up a SASHIMI lunch with girlfriends, in order to finish my articles....ahhh....oh well....